.FooRd BloRg. Crunchle Krunch Crunx

Is it just me or does time seem faster as you get older? When you are young time seems so slow. I recall the minutes of a clock lasting a lifetime. Now it seems that the days are short and years are a blur. Did you know mallards are monogamous?

Ok. See, what happened there is I am pretty bad at segues. What is a segue? It is a smooth transition from one subject or topic to another. Did you know that the king of hearts is the only king without a mustache? Think about it dudes. Shave that thing off your face. The king of hearts. He is the king of hearts. He wouldn't lie. 

A segue requires a logical bridge between the two subjects. My brain doesn't build logical bridges. My bridges are a bit more like the end scene in Labyrinth where there is all those steps and the girl can't figure out how to get to Bowie but she can see him.  I am also bad at segues because I will learn something and I will need to share it with everyone I know and I don't finesse it into the conversation either. Example: 

Person: Nice weather we are having.

Me: Yes. I read that a crow lives in a family group ranging from 2-15. And every family is called  a murder. Want to go 50/50 on this fruit roll up? It is grape.

Sarah recently went to a candy store on NW 23rd and she saw a wall of black licorice containers. Different shapes etc... I have seen red licorice ropes and laces and wheels. So who is this person that is sitting around like "Rope? Oh somebody did that? How about a smaller rope? Like a shoe lace. Somebody did that? What if the shoe lace is all wound up and you can then unroll the lace. Somebody did that? AH. Boot? Damn. Sheep? Arg! Pirate? Double Arg! Booty? Yeah, like tiny licorice tooshes. Whew. We did it." That is what I imagine. Just a weird licorice loving snack engineer sitting in a basement somewhere brainstorming licorice shapes. Did you know pearls melt in vinegar? True.

I love bad segues. I love snacks. Lets combine those two.

First up we have a snack that Sarah found at an asian grocery. They are a type of snack named ball cookies. Keep it together. These are called honey ball cookies. This brand is called Hot Kid but we will get to that later. That makes this snack 'Hot Kid's Honey Ball Cookies." I am pretty sure that typing that sentence puts me on some kind of government list. What can you do? Snacking has risks.

Why isn't this snack called "chicken egg cookies?" It is far less questionable. Plus they went thru all the trouble of having chickens all over the packaging. I thought that these cookies were shaped like eggs not balls but then I also thought that they were crackers not cookies.

But wait it gets weirder. Look at the warning in the clear part of the bag. Think about that. They made a nearly invisible warning on food item. What? Was the white background too expensive? Look at the top of the picture at what they did print on white background. "Jim want ball cookie" WTF? What kind of super weirdness is this? Who is Jim?

Finally we have this. That must be Jim. Now I am really hoping that the "hot" that they are referring to is a temperature situation and not how I would feel I'd look in that ensemble. How is the actual ball cookie? Well.  The ball cookie sack, when opened, smelled of flour, paper, and honey. I was disappointed because I thought that this would be like goldfish crackers but instead it was silly little cookie puff balls. We had this on a family outing to the beach. Nobody cared for them. Really the most interesting thing about this snack is the bag. The cookies are barely a cookie. You bite into it and it quickly dissolves in your mouth. Forgettable with a hint of honey. I bet that if you had these as a child than maybe you'd like them as an adult. For me it doesn't do much. I give this snack a 2-A ducks quack doesn't echo and nobody knows why AND Walt Disney was afraid of mice-out of 5.

Oh good. A soy sauce flavored watermelon seed. Yeah. Not a sunflower seed. Which is a seed that people normally eat. This is a soy sauce flavored watermelon seed. A seed that people have always spit out. Now we know why. It has nothing to do with them being inedible and everything to do with that they don't taste like soy sauce. Sarah also found this snack at the same market and we ate these on the same beach trip mentioned earlier.

I didn't go in the ocean.

There is a good look at the ingredients. Very interesting. Not really. In fact I have no idea why I even took that picture. Did you know that peanuts are an ingredient in dynamite? I wonder if dynamite has a warning on the side "Manufactured in a facility that processes peanuts." Like wise peanuts would seem pretty bad ass if they had a warning "Processed in a dynamite factory."

Were these good? Well they smelled like a leather wallet aged in a well and dried with salt on it. It was bitter and very soy saucy. It was also difficult to chew and seemed burnt. In short, this is a terrible thing to put in your mouth.

Here is a list of better things to put in your mouth: soil, lower grade soil, hobo slept on soil, soil on a hobo, hobo, owl pellets, lawn furniture that has received a urine shower, a photo of Rosie O Donnell, a soil covered photo of Rosie O' Donnell, a grave robber's pants, or you could lick the lower portion of a glass door in a day care.

This will surely turn you off of both soy sauce and watermelon seeds. I wish I could go into graphic detail about how gross it was. But again it just isn't that memorable. I give this snack a 0-Your stomach has two produce a new layer of mucus every 2 days or it will digest itself.  Justin Timberlake is 31-out of 5.

Ok these nuts are available at many asian markets and groceries. They might look like that nut snack at Trader Joes but these are far better. First of all, Trader Joes really really sucks. Think about it. Nothing good comes from there. It is a grocery store of one brand. It belongs in a mall. They have frozen trash that isn't very good trash and poor produce and lame cheeses and cheap wine that is gross. ZING! Take that! One person doens't like trader joes. I am sure they care. My point is that the trader joes nut snack has funky lime leaves in it. This mix just has peanuts, pepper flakes and pepper corns. Sarah loves these nuts. What is there not to love.

Look at this dreamy field. Rolling hills covered in nothing but nut bushes. I didn't know that you'd find nuts under bush. I assumed nuts grew in trees. I guess that peanut is a ground nut meaning that it grows in the ground. The first Portland Rose festival was today June 20th 1907.

So I have no idea what this product is called I just know what it is. Clearly the illustration shows: 1. Shake bag. 2. Break tooth. 3. Eat a steaming hot dish of leaf and ovals. Is this a good snack? Do you like heat? I sure as heck do. These nuts are great. Sometimes the pepper corns are a bit much but the chili and peanuts are delicious. I give this treat a 5-The nobel peace prize depicts three naked men with their hands on each others shoulders and on average a 100 people choke to death on ball point pens-out of 5.

Lastly we have another cheeto flavor from Tokyo. I ordered this snack from japan. I am not sure why. It is flavored to taste like Tteokbokki. I know. It looks like I had a seizure while typing. It is a dish prepared with rice cakes cut into rectangles and stir fried with ginkgo nuts and sometimes seafood and then covered with cheese. I guess not all are covered in cheese but this one is. Sound good?

Now lets just put the weird dish name and flavor aside and look at what is going on in that picture. It looks to me like that dog has rolled that boy up in a blanket. I saw this once done to a man who took a lot of extacy or lsd or both and he was dressed like fred flintstone. Well, he was flipping out and pooped in a bush and white bird, who were like the crazy wranglers, came and rolled him up in a blanket and took him away. So in my mind, that boy made this dish and that dog was like "he HAS to be on drugs!' and has rolled him up. I bet that is it.

It looks pretty good to me but looks can be deceiving. It smells like a cheeto. Like puffed corn and some type of dried spice. It tastes like if the three words "I don't know" had a flavor. I haven't had this dish and my brain has no idea what to do with this flavor. It isn't really cheesy. It isn't really sweet or savory. It is somewhere in the middle. Now you might be thinking that doesn't sound that bad but think about this. I am in my thirties. I have tasted a wide array of flavors. When you taste something and you can't quite place it your brain does odd things. It panics like "This isn't food! What are we doing?" It feels creepy for something to be texturally normal but flavor wise it is something unknown. I think that our brain also tells us if something is rotten much in  the same way. You bite into an apple and the texture might be the same but then your brain says "This doesn't taste like apple. Eject!" 

Well the texture was corn puff but the flavor was a mystery which ultimately I found unnecessary to eat. For really no reason I give this snack a 3-The cigarette lighter was invented before the match and the king of hearts represents Charlemagne- out of 5.

You should all be more like Charlemagne. (*Actually just shave. I don't know what kind of life he lived.) 

FooRd BooRg. Snack of attraction

Oh, hello there. I like your outfit. What are those _________? (A. Crocs, B. Uggs, C. Flip flops, D. Reasonable foot attire) Is that the kind that _________? (A. Tone your butt, B. Match the drapes, C. "Donate" money to somewhere, D. Cover your sick ass man toes.) Well that is just awesome. have you lost weight? I mean I am sure you are hearing that from everyone. You look more slender __________.

(A. In areas of your face, B. around your tree trunk of a neck, C. On your eyebrow....as in one., D. pretty much all over. E. Have you lost scabs?)

See what I did there? I started todays post off with a little compliment. Hopefully now we are both on the same page (both literally and figuratively) and ready to get on down to brass tacks. (Don't tell anyone but I have no idea what that expression means. Is it a tax on brass? I mean brass is so tacky and ugly. They should tax the crap out of anyone buying brass. What? Do you want a brass bed? Then you should be taxed. I remember seeing a daybed at a girl's house, as a child, and I thought "Thar be sum ugly beast if evar I set an I on wun!. *Side note: I was a little pirate-y as a child and still didn't want brass for my booty. *Double side note: Not feeling that last sentence.)

Today we are looking at three crunchy snacks as well as talking about compliments. Sure they are weird and often hard to take. I hate them. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than trying to decide the appropriate response to a compliment. Here is hypothetical you: "Hey dirk, you said something funny once about dog tattoos at an improv show. That was funny." And here is non-hypothetical me: "Ah.......................(puts one hand on hip while curling lip and slowly bending knees) ..thank you." And I should add that the thank you is wheezed out of my lungs on an exhale. Then as you walk away I think "I probably did that ok. I think that went well." Only to have my wife say "What the hell was that? That was really-really-weird." Trust me. You get to peruse my life from a far but I have to live as this mess 24-7.

Ok lets belly up to the table and snack.

Isn't that cute? (That is a rhetorical question. You needn't answer it. They are tiny burgers. Of course they are cute. No not sliders. Sliders are bull sh!t. Hey buddy, how about you put down the tiny 4 sandwiches and you commit to a natural sized sandwich. Is that really so crazy? Well, lets go further down the sandwich rabbit hole and acknowledge that you are eating a sandwich sitting down. Yeah. The sandwich was invented for workers to eat on the go. That is the only purpose of stupid bread. What is stupid bread? It is every bread. You don't need to eat so much bread. You don't. How about this: cut two slices of cake and put sandwich fixings between them and eat it while looking at yourself in the mirror. Yeah, I don't even have a point. But if you did that please take a picture. That is one picture of someone in a bathroom mirror that I would care to see. Side note: Anytime I see a picture of someone, that they themselves took, in a bathroom mirror I only think about how sad and lonely they must be to make this visual cry for attention and put it on the internet. At least if you were eating a cake sandwich we could laugh together.)

Yes, those are cute burgers. This first snack was a gift from our friend Mel who saw this at a store and thought that I should have it. I know. She is awesome. Evan, her son is a fan of the blog. (Well, he will be. Right now he is busy with teething and limited arm and leg movements but if I know anything about child development it is that reading is just around the corner.) Anytime a friend gives me a snack for this creative outlet it is the biggest compliment. It is like saying "Here- I welcome your weekly distraction and would like for you to make fun of this." I will oblige to the best of my ability every time.

(A non-weird as possible Thank You. To each and every one of you. *Wife included. Hi wife!)

So here we see on the back . . . I have no idea what is happening here. On the right I am pretty sure that is a breakdown of what this snack is. The top sentence says "On top there is a bun." and the bottom sentence reads "We really like how that looked so we followed suit with a bun also down here. You know, balance and feng shui and what not.?." (I really like how casual they are being about the art  form that is feng shui. "You know, this and that, feng shui and stuff..whateves.)

Now what the Every Burger is saying on the right is a total mystery to me. "As the spokes burger for Every Burger I would like to call attention to our cause EAT THE RICH!!!!" Ok, That might not be what it says but the burger has a point. I mean rich people eat foie gras because it is the liver of a duck or goose that has been specially fattened. Seems to me those specially fattened rich people would be pretty tasty. I like what this burger is saying or not saying at all. Lets see if there are clues inside.

WTF? Is that a hotdog? No I think it is a regular sized burger providing tutelage for the diminutive Every Burger. Something like "It isn't the size of the dog in the fight! It is the fear of the brutal owner who trains his dog through horrid tests of both mind and strength which in turn create the perfect canine killing machine just like in that Jet Li movie where Bob Hoskins trains him to fight and Jet Li has to wear a dog collar and what?? Oh yes, it was called "Unleashed. Thanks Henry-the burger not seen in the picture because he was taking the picture. " That movie sucked."

Or it is just a cartoon diagram of what this product is which is two sweetened wheat crackers with a patty of fudge in the middle. See! (Wait. What is that orange stuff? I know it is supposed to look like cheese. I am guessing that it is frosting.)

Come on. They even have tiny little sesame seeds on the buns. Adorable. How does it taste?

Just like a tiny, slightly fluffier Chips Ahoy cookie. You know. That sweet and cheap store bought cookie? That flavor that most store bought cookies have. Like that. Maybe a bit closer to a less crunchy Pocky but you get the idea. Do I wish that it was supposed to taste like a cheese burger? Yes. The silver lining on the situation is that I didn't have to vomit after trying it. So far this post is vomit free.
Nice.

I give this snack a 3.5-I like the way your beard frames your face. Not a lot of grandmas are willing to rock that look-out of 5.

Alright, next we have a four cheese chip made by Frito Lay in Japan. I ordered this snack from Tokyo because I thought the name was cute and because I didn't think there were 4 cheeses in Japan.

Oh, Cheese Snack For Cheese Lover.  How silly your name sounds. I guess if Americans are going to make sushi that is total crap than they should get a crack at cheese flavored snacks. (I am not sure if America invented cheese snacks. I am pretty confident that we didn't but we would probably win a war against whomever did. A cheese war. Lets start making fondue guns and cheddar tanks and do this! With how liberal "war" is being attached to tv shows i.e. Storage Wars, Parking Wars, Cupcake Wars. I am surprised that stores haven't changed coupons to strategies for war on cheese and other sandwich conspirators. 2 for 1 Fruity Pebbles-Declaration of execution! All Hillshire Farm meats dated 5-19-2012 must be eradicated.)

So here we can see the breakdown of the four cheeses. First we have Parmesan. Ok that seems logical. That would add some salt and nutty-ness to the equation. Second down the line we have Mozzarella which sounds like it would be Morrissey's favorite cheese. (See what I did there? His nick name is Mozz. Or is it Motts. Like the apple sauce...I think the first one.) So that would add some creamy kinda thing to the jamboree. Third we have cream cheese. Wait. What? Seriously? Cream cheese? OH good. I can't be the only person that thinks cream cheese shouldn't even count as cheese. Oh you disagree? Ok then remind me of the last time you ordered a cheese plate and the best thing on there was the cream cheese. You can't because the only time that would happen is if McDonalds started serving cheese plates. It would have american cheese, cream cheese, and Doritos. Cream cheese is a joke that people use to make a bagel not be the driest 5 servings of bread you ever ate. BREAD AGAIN!
Lastly we have Mascarpone cheese. It seems to me that they are trying to class it up at the end there after whoring around with cream cheese. I am not impressed. You had your chance cheese snack for cheese lover. You blew it.

Wait again. What is she doing here? Is that a personal ad? Is she the illusive cheese lover? Did she win a cheese contest and her reward was Frito Lay bestowed upon her a specially designed cheese snack? I don't know but I hope so. If you look at the bottom of her box....(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry.) She runs some kind of blog. I went to it. Couldn't read it but she posts under cuty-bunny. Yeah. She is a grown up woman. Cuty-bunny? Get over yourself.

http://cheese.exblog.jp/

It looks like your average cheese chip right? Well it smells weird. Have you ever noticed that a cats feet smell like tortilla chips? No? Well they do. Fact checked. Seriously go check. Go pick up your cat and smell its feet. Well, one foot is probably enough. Don't have a cat? Try out the neighbors! They won't mind. Chances are they have wanted to talk to you about that for years and didn't know how to bring it up.

Where was I? Oh yes, these chips smell like cat feet. If the cat feet had stepped in sweet cheese dust or had a terrible infection of some sort. (Whoa, almost made myself sick there. Foot infections will do that.) Did you know that Jared Leto got gout in his foot from gaining all those pounds for that movie Chapter 27 that nobody saw? He was good in it. My point is that these chips smell like Jared Leto's foot did then. Not My So Called Life Jared Leto. Those feet smelled of angel whispers and unicorn winks.  Jared Leto's gout foot. Lets move on to taste right?

Ugh. Oh NO. Ack. It tastes sweet at first. Like sweet corn. Then the crappy cheese powder melts on your tongue and all hell breaks loose in your mouth. It is like I am having a party in my mouth but I only invited regret and remorse, both of which have food poisoning and the toilet is broken. Whew. This cheese lover must be the target of a ruse. This is bad.

The flavor is just too sweet and the aroma is a mix of human decomp and more human decomp. Overall this is the most off putting chip that I have tried ever. Maybe ever. I can honestly say that they missed the mark here unless that is what they were going for in which case I am guessing they also keep their dead mother in their basement and parade around in their victim's skins.

I give this snack a 0-I like your haircut. I think it is nice that people with special needs are given work.-out of 5.

Lastly we have Long Potato Chips. These are long potato chips. Look at that dude eating a chip at arms length away. (The picture is a lie. The only person who could do that is Cee lo.) See they could have tried to come up with a catchy name "SKIS- The only chip big enough to ski on." "Average penis length chip." (That is a good one.) (Except how horrible would it be to find out that you are under average by putting your penis on a chip. That is a poor use for a penis and a waste of a chip.) "Subway sandwich size chip." (That one needs some work but also it is true.) Alas they decide to go with the direct approach.

Long Potato chips.

So I found these at our local russian meat smoking place. Overseas Taste. I had seen them and couldn't get them out of my mind so Sarah and I went back and I bought them. Weird fact: The plain kind of the same product which came in a plain brown wrapper was 79 cents. This one with the illustration was a dollar 99. I had to get the one with the funny picture but at what price? Oh I told you that already. That price and also the price of flavor. These are bacon and onion.  Oh man. After that last chip I would much rather have another Every Burger. I knew I should have saved Every Burger for last. Oh well. Here we go.

It smells of old cardboard. Most likely because that is what it is packaged in. It feels kind of like an even more processed Pringles. (If that is a reality.) Now for the taste test.

AH! Ugh. Orp. Urf. No!


To be honest, I have just brushed my teeth. Here is the moment by moment breakdown. I lifted the waving chip up to my mouth. My brain said "Smells like cardboard. We are eating cardboard now? Why didn't I get that memo? Nobody CCs me on anything. Does stomach know?" I bit into the chip and my mouth replied "Hand? Why are you inserting cardboard into the mouth loading zone. There is no scheduled cardboard delivery into this orifice." To which my hand replied "I am out of here!" and retreated. Leaving a chunk of the long chip in my mouth. My mouth then said "Sh!t. What am I supposed to do with this? Hey eyes, are we near a hole or a body of water so I can eject this piece of debris? Hand is acting like a total ass right now." Eyes shouted back " Nope. We are in our home. In the kitchen. I don't want to tell you how to do your job but there is a sink nearby." Mouth responded "I appreciate your level of professionalism eyes. On second thought, there isn't much in here so teeth and i are going to try and break it down and let throat do its thang." "I mean thing." "Sorry thang."  Then a voice distant from mouth called out "The names Wang not thang."

At that moment my teeth attempted to bite into the thin chip. I thought it would be easy but the chip fought back, lodging itself into my teeth. The flavor was of dust and despair. Cardboard, dust, dead moths, skull nostrils. Yeah, this chip tasted like if you licked the wall of those bone catacombs. It was horrible. I can't even tell you accurately how awful it was. My taste buds said "F-this! Eject!!!! Eject!!!" and throat said "I always side with taste buds. It shall not pass!!!!" So I had one choice and that was spit  it out into the sink. The thing was that the chip had glued itself to my teeth and the chemical bacon and onion flavor was seeping out. I washed and rinsed with water but it was no use. Whatever this chip is made of it is pure evil. So I had no choice. I brushed. I usually advise people to try the things I review on here. Not this time. This "chip" gets a 0-You wear that print well. You know on some people it would highlight their imperfections but not on you. It compliments them-out of 5.

.FooRd BlooRg. Chocolorts revenge.

Spring is here. Time to pick some flowers..(Oh my god. That is the worst intro ever. Can we just look at that for a second. Both of us just hold this moment. Ugh. It feels gross doesn't it? I deleted a heavy intro about women vs. men and the difficulty of not being overly masculine (overly? You say.) and that is the intro you get? Yes. I am sorry. I am trying to not be so heavy handed in the intro. So lets just pretend that those two short piddly sentences are just great comedy gold. How about you laugh really loud and it will make me feel better. Just pretend that this post started with me saying:

Anytime I see a person hang-gliding I assume that they are a time traveller from 1982.

or

You see less smiles at a craft fair than at a goth night.

or

I am pretty sure the inventor of high fives would view "punching it in" the same way Beethoven would view Kid Rock. #Bullsh!t.

or

Wishing wells are casinos for the amish.

or

Sure when you eat it you call it Asparagus but when you pee it becomes despair-a-gross. #Am I right?

or

My gym hated my promotional idea: Win a free month by guessing how many farts are in the yoga studio.

(I know. Cheap move to recycle things I have posted on Twitter. But get used to it because the 1-5 scale is all them sum b!tches)

So today we are sitting down to eat some chocolates yet again. Sarah is going to be helping me out here so lets get to it.

First up we have a Japanese Kit Kat. Incase you don't know "sakura" is cherry blossom and "maccha" is a finely ground green tea powder and a "latte" is gross. I mean it is a coffee drink made with steamed milk or soy milk....and it is gross. (Jk. But seriously I don't like cream or milk in my coffee. It isn't my thing.)

What a cute box these six tiny expensive Kit Kat sticks come in. I mean look at that little flap. Obviously the person who designed it doesn't understand how keys work but that is ok.

Looks pretty good right? Well here is the break down:

S-Hmm. It tastes like a condensed milk Kit Kat. I don't get any rose in aroma or taste.

d- I get no rose at all. This is pretty close to a non-chocolate Kit Kat.

I wish we could expand on that but honestly that is how long we "enjoyed" this snack. I was expecting strong rose flavor or heavy green tea taste but what they delivered on here is that milk. That lovely latte milk. No thanks. Shame on you Japan. I give this snack a 2-It would seem to me that Tracy Chapman would be great at Nascar commentary#YouDriveAFastCar-out of 5.

Sarah found this for me. As I have said before: these expensive chocolate bars can be quite tricky. They seem to bloat the packaging with as many buzzwords in an attempt to hook a yuppie into spending 8 bucks or whatever. (Also who let that jester into the tea room? That clown is going to break something or defile the finger sandwiches. You know he is.)

Blah blah blah.....Hold up. Skip down to the second paragraph. Read those first two sentences. Now if you aren't the least bit creeped out by that than this chocolate is for you. No. You can't argue. If you are into that than you are weird. Like cat lady fashion blogger weird. Like frog statue collecting weird. Like you smell like off cheese weird. You get the point.

Well it looks unassuming. Here is the breakdown:

S-It smells like a delicious chai. It tastes like a delicious chai. Good chocolate with great flavor. (She went back for seconds....Personally I bet she will finish it tonight.)

d-Oh yeah. Super good. Really nice chai flavor. Wow. Delivers 100% as promised. Hot damn.

If you like chocolate and or chai then you deserve this. It is great. I kind of want to make smores out of it. I also kind of want to drink an espresso but if I am awake I want to drink an espresso. I give this snack a 5-If you answer anything with "nunya" I will stab you in the throat. Not because you are a terrible person (also true) but because it is my kill word.-out of 5.

Ok.Remember when we ate chocolate that had beef and cheese in it? Well we did and this also hails from Neapolitan Chocolates. Rose-berry? Come on! How adorable is that? It sounds like a kid with a head cold is saying "rosemary."

Oh geez. It is super cute. Look at that little fella.

Oh no. I cut him all up and now I have to eat his brains! (And everything else...)

S-Hmmm. It is weird because the chocolate is good but then the rose comes in and it tastes like someone spilled perfume on my chocolate.

d-Whoa. Weird. Yet again their chocolate is good. However when it finishes with the rose it is not quite enjoyable. I also don't get any berry.

S-It is the little dried raspberry or strawberry on top. Also I would like to add in all realness that if you were in the movie The Avengers that you would be THE INCREDIBLE HUNK. On the account that you are so hunktacular and hot..and strong. and dreamier than Leonardo in Romeo and Juliet. (Ok she didn't say that last part...)

d-Oh.

Ultimately this candy fell short of being amazing. Which is sad because the core of what they have going on here is solid. The chocolate is tasty and the soft center is scrumptious but sadly the rose is a no go.

I give this snack a 2-I just took an instagram of my FB, pinned it on my pinterest board and tweeted the occasion. Why am I still so empty inside? #FakeAccomplishments-out of 5.



Well that is that. Next week we have three exciting beverages. (Spoiler alert!) As always I am open to snack suggestions. Just say howdy to me on twitter: dirk_marshall or find me on the FB.(maybe not.)
I wil leave you with two more tweets.

"It is so hard to ride a bike with your ho." #UrbanGardener

"Why isn't there a catholic fight club called Taberknuckle choir? #ICheckedThereIsNun

*No I didn't post this as an add for my twitter. I was sitting staring at the first two sentences on this post and thought "really? This is the memorable intro? I will just look at my twitter and maybe I will be inspired. Instead I found that I had forgotten all of these sentences I had posted. These thoughts that I had had. Pretty weird. I started one just as a place to put thoughts and not really to use a social tool. So I thought I would share it here once. Take care.