.FOOrD BLOrG. HARD CANDY (ewe)

Here we have a battle of hard candy. Oh yeah! IT IS ON! Whatever that means.... This battle is big and includes America vs. Japan vs. Mexico. This time it is personal and the battlefield is your own mouth! (that was my intro)Up first, JAPAN!!! Candy sticks. I have no idea what they are called and I can't find them on the website I ordered but lets face it nobody who reads this buys this crap anyway but I digress. I bought two boxes of these candies each with 2 flavors. Apple, Pineapple, Lemon, and Grape. I won't get into each different flavor just the overall execution.

1-no scent

2-While each flavor is different each has a mentionable amount of sourness. Which I like. The outside of each stick is semi-hard candy and the inside is a mix of hard candy and carbonation.

3-These are pretty good. Grape is my favorite.

4-No after taste.

The thing about this snack is it is kinda like stick candy/ hard candy version of nerds. Think about it. Only nerds are more fun. (That is a t-shirt) Overall a good candy, quite different, interesting fizzy sour goodness. Well done Japan. Moving on let us see what America has for us...

Bottle Pop? Ok, this seems innocent enough right? Well no it isn't and I will tell you why. Look in the picture at the tiny word above 'Bottle Pop'. Yeah, 'baby' is the word. Ok. Nobody other than babies should use a bottle because of what is on top of the bottle. A nipple. Yea, which didn't occur to me until I tried to enjoy this perversion of candy. Ugh, here we go:

1- The candy part has no smell but the powder smells like awesome strawberry smells. See, you take the top and lick it then stick it into the bottle and turn it upside down so that it gets covered in strawberry powder. The powder sticks to your spit and then you put the candy crusted spit back into your mouth. Sound fun? Did I mention that you are sucking on a fake nipple then dipping your spit covered nipple in candy dust and then put the coagulated candy dirt spit covered fake nipple back in your mouth. Yeah, I know I should have put this all together but i didn't 'before' but I sure did when it was in my mouth.

2-Who cares what it tastes like. You have to be buying this product cuz you have some serious issues and or fetishes. If you do buy these I know you are wondering why they don't make milk flavored bottle pops. Sickos. Well done Merica.
Oh man, so here we are Mexico. I know we have had our differences but here is your chance to turn it all around.

1-Kinda smells like fruit leather....and chili powder. Oh man, I thought this was just watermelon. Damn it Mexico. Now I gotta put this in my mouth...oh man.

2-Great. It tastes like prunes. Prunes with a salty subtle chili flavor. Imagine if you will that you put on slippers made of fruit leather and jog in chili powder until your feet sweat in your fruit leather slippers. Then you stop jogging and remove your slippers and wrap them around a stick and put it in your mouth. Oh did that make you sad? Yeah well imagine how my mouth feels! Mexico you have done it again.

3-F-you mexico.

In closing (we checked) the stick is supposed to look like it has been in a rectum.