The Frozen heart
You are Jameson, a paladin who has been questing in search of a mystical edible jewel that once consumed will save you from over healing forever and it will unfreeze the wizard's daughter with whom you are in love. You stand before a wood slab which displays the objects of your quest. Now if you choose to taste the first snack then please scroll down the page to the first snack. Otherwise please scroll down to the end of this post.
Up first we have a Mango gummy. I know the picture is a tad deceptive. The gummy is actually about the size of a penny. Sarah and Dave returned from SF with these. THOSE TWO PEOPLE ARE AWESOME! (Hopefully, you aren't tired of me giving those two props because I plan to spend the rest of my days doing so.) The gummy is quite soft and spongy and has a pleasant fragrance of Mango. The flavor is subtle enough for you to crave another....and another. It is a good thing these come in a bag of fourty or so because I will eat them! I give this treat 4 enchanted swords out of five. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (mango). Otherwise read on.
This taffy was found by Sarah on her trip to Petaluma CA. I figured it was going to be pretty hard to find but then I found it in a nearby Dollar Tree. Yea. So I was a tid bit worried to try it. Lets face it, poor people are known for refined tastes the same way a balrog is known for it's good looks Am I right? The color of the taffy was laffy taffy pink and the smell was more subtle than laffy taffy strawberry. Definitely more sweet than sour. In fact not sour at all or tart. The flavor was creamy and the taffy was not too chewy. Kinda more like a strawberry shake than a strawberry but if that is your thing than go get one! I give the taffy 2.5 dwarves with bizmuth bronze axes out of five. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (Taffy). Otherwise read on.
These Fruit Pastiles were obtained for this judgement by Dave. They contain 25% fruit juice a but appear to have a sugar coating on them. The taste is like Chuckles. Do you remember those? They are a rather subdued and boring gummy candy that had a sugar coating on the outside to distract you from their utter lack of flavor. These aren't quite that bad but they aren't that special either. I would eat them if I had no other candy and wanted some sweets but otherwise I would pass on these. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (Pastile). Otherwise read on.
Here we have another caramel from Hokkaido. You might recall the red wine carmel from a previous post. Well this one is from Chinatown in SF instead of special ordered from Japan. The flavor is Guarana which you might recognize from energy drinks. This is really interesting. When you chew it, you get the consistence of a caramel but then the flavor switches to what you know of from energy drinks. It is really confusing and yet not terrible. I wouldn't eat a whole box of them but one here and there isn't so awful. Overall I give it 3 mages wielding compulsion spells out of 5. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (guarana). Otherwise choose :none of them
Up first we have a Mango gummy. I know the picture is a tad deceptive. The gummy is actually about the size of a penny. Sarah and Dave returned from SF with these. THOSE TWO PEOPLE ARE AWESOME! (Hopefully, you aren't tired of me giving those two props because I plan to spend the rest of my days doing so.) The gummy is quite soft and spongy and has a pleasant fragrance of Mango. The flavor is subtle enough for you to crave another....and another. It is a good thing these come in a bag of fourty or so because I will eat them! I give this treat 4 enchanted swords out of five. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (mango). Otherwise read on.
This taffy was found by Sarah on her trip to Petaluma CA. I figured it was going to be pretty hard to find but then I found it in a nearby Dollar Tree. Yea. So I was a tid bit worried to try it. Lets face it, poor people are known for refined tastes the same way a balrog is known for it's good looks Am I right? The color of the taffy was laffy taffy pink and the smell was more subtle than laffy taffy strawberry. Definitely more sweet than sour. In fact not sour at all or tart. The flavor was creamy and the taffy was not too chewy. Kinda more like a strawberry shake than a strawberry but if that is your thing than go get one! I give the taffy 2.5 dwarves with bizmuth bronze axes out of five. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (Taffy). Otherwise read on.
These Fruit Pastiles were obtained for this judgement by Dave. They contain 25% fruit juice a but appear to have a sugar coating on them. The taste is like Chuckles. Do you remember those? They are a rather subdued and boring gummy candy that had a sugar coating on the outside to distract you from their utter lack of flavor. These aren't quite that bad but they aren't that special either. I would eat them if I had no other candy and wanted some sweets but otherwise I would pass on these. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (Pastile). Otherwise read on.
Here we have another caramel from Hokkaido. You might recall the red wine carmel from a previous post. Well this one is from Chinatown in SF instead of special ordered from Japan. The flavor is Guarana which you might recognize from energy drinks. This is really interesting. When you chew it, you get the consistence of a caramel but then the flavor switches to what you know of from energy drinks. It is really confusing and yet not terrible. I wouldn't eat a whole box of them but one here and there isn't so awful. Overall I give it 3 mages wielding compulsion spells out of 5. If you agree that this is the edible jewel than proceed to the end of the post marked (guarana). Otherwise choose :none of them
(MANGO)Upon returning to Eustachian mountain you approach the frozen body of the wizard's daughter. You place the mango gummy in her mouth and a thick fog begins filling the room. The sound of chains rattling and whips cracking is heard. The gate closes behind you and the wizard daughter's eyes begin to glow. Your body ceases and you can do nothing but watch as the wizard's daughter slowly changes into the wizard. He professes his love for you and shrinks you down and seals you in gem that dangles from his ear. Yeah, he has a really lame earing and you are it.(TAFFY) Upon returning to Eustachian mountain you approach the frozen body of the wizard's daughter. Jameson falls to his knees at her side. He has dozens of arrows protruding from his back and a venomous snake bite on his tongue. (long story...) With his last ounce of strength he places the taffy in her mouth and he falls to the floor. The wizard's daughter awakens and sees her hero on the floor. She turns him over and deduces that only her enchanted kiss shall revive her hero. Alas upon closer examination she notices the snake bite and suddely finds Jameson really weird and grody. You die on the floor and everyone thinks you are weird.
(Fruit Pastiles) Upon returning to Eustachian mountain you approach the frozen body of the wizard's daughter. As Jameson removes the pastile from his pocket the wizard appears. He is like hella pissed off and says some serious wizard speak. You aren't sure what to make of the situation because maybe wizards just sound angry when they talk....you know, like germans. Unfortunately for you, while he is german and a wizzard, his daughter is diabetic. He assumes you are trying to poison her and he demands that you spend eternity in a dungeon comprised of things you find disagreeable.
(Guarana) Upon returning to Eustachian mountain you approach the frozen body of the wizard's daughter. Due to Jameson's high level of perception you notice that even though her body has been in stasis that she has grown a wicked mustache. As an act of kindness and in hopes of a kiss after saving her life you remove your blood knight dagger and shave her mustache off. Suddenly and without warning a deafening boom is heard. You clutch your ears causing you to drop the guarana candy to the floor where it sits for well over the allowed ten seconds rule. On your knees you look at the fallen antidote aware that you shall spend the rest of your days growing older while piniing over your sleeping wizard's daughter. When suddenly (yes, suddenly again) Jameson feels a gentle hand on his shoulder. It is the wizards daughter! As it turns out the evil spell placed on her was more like 'an evil mustache coma spell thing' and not so much a 'go on a candy quest sort of thing'. You are overjoyed and spend the rest of your days together riding like dragons and stuff.
(None of them) Upon returning to Eustachian mountain you approach the frozen body of the wizard's daughter. Jameson speaks "Hey, so I was eating a bunch of candy but none of it was special enough to save you. Soooooo, sorry about that." Jameson puts his battle scarred hand on her cheek and a single tear slowly rolls down her cheek. Upon contact of his wounds Jameson feels as if 1000 angels are kissing his wounds away but instead you poop your self to death. Not quickly either. Yeah, don't go on a quest for a wizard's daughter and return empty handed. You newb.
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