Anyone who knows me, like really knows me, knows that I enjoy a beer from time to time. Sometimes that enjoyment sends me into a search for new or well, just different types of said beverage. Which is an odd thing because it is like saying 'oh, I like beer but would really like to not know how it will taste.' Which really is weird. You know what it is like? Its like pooping with your arms over your head. Partly familiar and partly really confusing. You don't know what I am talking about? Try it once. Everything from the nipples down is business as usual and then your brain is like 'really? arms in the air? are we celebrating? Confusing. But don't try it too many times or everytime you are on a rollercoaster you will boom boom in your britches. (which you may or may not do anyway...) also if you are at a football game and the wave comes around....not cool. What were we talking about? Oh yea, beers.....from Russia. (not with love)
Clearly the first beer I purchased here is because it is named for a downed horse in the first Kentucky Derby. (that isn't true)....(but it could be) Truth be told these three beers were found at a Russian grocery store in far out SE PDX. This beer was SKUNKY. Ick. I really don't like skunky beers. I don't smoke weed and don't want beverages that taste like how weed smells. Who are these people who do? If you do then please let me know. I don't get it. Next!
Ok so, Golden Pheasant....nice name. This sounds classy and could be better. Right? Nope, at this point I think there is a good reason Russia isn't known for its beer. In fact the top three exports are 1. oil. 2. aluminum. 3. steel products. Are you bored yet? Because boredom is number 4. (also not true) Beer is nowhere near the top of the list. This beer was forgettable but almost ok. Almost. This is the only one of all three that I finished. That is more we can say for Zartucky Gus in the derby. (he was shot).......(remember, not really)
Here we are with the last one. Look at the label. It looks like a hobo beer. 8%...um, that is pretty close to hobo beer. For all I know, in Russia, this is hobo beer. (but in russia hobo beer drinks you!- Yakov Smirnoff)...(not really) This demon beer was revolting. I drank a quarter of it and it went from cold kinda like Steel Reserve to that with a weird cream flavor. Sick. Disgusting. Revolting. I should no better. I should and to be honest, I kinda did but for the sake of having a Russian trinity of brews I bought it. Look here is the brass tax here. Russia makes beer like mexico makes candy- like they don't know it goes in your mouth where your tastebuds are. That simply has to be it. TAA-DAA!!!! (you are welcome)....(that is true).
Clearly the first beer I purchased here is because it is named for a downed horse in the first Kentucky Derby. (that isn't true)....(but it could be) Truth be told these three beers were found at a Russian grocery store in far out SE PDX. This beer was SKUNKY. Ick. I really don't like skunky beers. I don't smoke weed and don't want beverages that taste like how weed smells. Who are these people who do? If you do then please let me know. I don't get it. Next!
Ok so, Golden Pheasant....nice name. This sounds classy and could be better. Right? Nope, at this point I think there is a good reason Russia isn't known for its beer. In fact the top three exports are 1. oil. 2. aluminum. 3. steel products. Are you bored yet? Because boredom is number 4. (also not true) Beer is nowhere near the top of the list. This beer was forgettable but almost ok. Almost. This is the only one of all three that I finished. That is more we can say for Zartucky Gus in the derby. (he was shot).......(remember, not really)
Here we are with the last one. Look at the label. It looks like a hobo beer. 8%...um, that is pretty close to hobo beer. For all I know, in Russia, this is hobo beer. (but in russia hobo beer drinks you!- Yakov Smirnoff)...(not really) This demon beer was revolting. I drank a quarter of it and it went from cold kinda like Steel Reserve to that with a weird cream flavor. Sick. Disgusting. Revolting. I should no better. I should and to be honest, I kinda did but for the sake of having a Russian trinity of brews I bought it. Look here is the brass tax here. Russia makes beer like mexico makes candy- like they don't know it goes in your mouth where your tastebuds are. That simply has to be it. TAA-DAA!!!! (you are welcome)....(that is true).
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