.fOOrD BLOrG. This put the what in the why.

Sometimes an idea can be good. Sometimes an idea can be bad. Sometimes an idea can get you incarcerated. It is my earnest feeling that those responsible for this 'idea' be promptly incarcerated with all of the 'fruits' of their labor. I give you the partial review (why partial? I will get to that after the pic. geesh.) of this-So in the rare chance that you haven't heard of Durian I will break it down for you. Durian is a cranium sized fruit covered in spines that once cracked open has a fruit with the consistency of yogurt. Sound good? Well it has a scent.....and the scent has been described as quite unfavorable in everything I have read or seen on t.v. So my awesome wife and I were in Fubon on 82nd here in PDX and she found this gem. Now they sell the fruit there but for some reason we liked the weird essence idea. See, the point of this blog isn't to eat weird sh*t for the sake of eating weird sh*t. There are enough of those and t.v. shows doing the same thing. But regardless we bought this and when Dave came by we opened it. To be honest, Dave opened it and took a deep breath. Which he quickly regretted as the essence crawled up in his nose and layed stink eggs in his brain. This business is so rank that just breaking the seal released an invisible cloud of dank doom. I know what you are thinking 'cut to the chase, what does it smell like?'

Well, put on your imagination caps because here is how I would describe it. If an onion ate a rancid egg salad sandwich that in turn gave it horrible gas which it released into a gym sock freshly worn by a sweaty teenager and then someone put that sock over your head all while you are at the country fair working an armpit hair dreading booth. Yeah, it is that bad. Go ahead and reread that last sentence and then try to ask me 'why didn't you cook with it?' There is no possible way I could make my house smell like that. I doubt it would ever leave. But who doesn't want muffins that smell like the back seat of a cab after fleet week? You couldn't even cleanse the house with sage and holy water. I am telling you the devil is here in fruit form and his sur name is DURIAN. I asked Dave for a comment on the aroma but he is most likely in the theatre watching Big Mommas House 3 and has his phone off. Sarah added that it also has a burnt hair smell to it as well. So that ought to really sell it to you. mmmmmmmmm.

In closing, I still have this essence in case you'd like to try it. If you do, you have problems. Sorry to be the blog that had to break it to you. It is ...Hold on, Dave must have just got out of BMH3 (as he calls it) and he says it smelled like 'a wet dog crawled up his nose and farted until it died.) Excellent. Lastly I ask you to look at how much you are to use of this evil elixer in your food. Till next time.
Oh and screw you Thailand. I don't fart in jars and mail them to you. (yet)