Thursday, August 18, 2011

.FOOrD BLOrG. I can't drink that!?!

Time again to open your mind's mouth for some serious flavor knowledge. (I don't even know what I am typing...) Hello again, summer can mean a large amount of different things to different people. To some it means time to lay out and dry their carcasses. To others it is time to walk trails in parks which I think is weird. To some it is a time to drink out on the local bar patio. To me it will always be a time for candy. So today in honor of summer we shall look at some items which are beverage themed. I mean you have to stay hydrated right? (That is not a trick question, you have to stay hydrated and yes I realize that candy is not hydrating.)

The reason summer reminds me of candy is because I have found childhood memories of summer and candy. Like eating Tart N Tinys in my parent's pool or taking the wagon full of cans to the store and buying Giant Sweetarts. (No I don't mean giant chewy sweetarts either. They were giant puck sized sweetarts and they were awesome.) The other thing that summer makes me think of is saturday morning cartoons. That concept might escape some of you young ones but there was a time when there was no internet or cartoon channels. Kids had to wait until saturday morning and then choose what to watch as three channels played cartoons until 11am or so. It sounds insane right? They were dark times indeed. But I am getting a bit off topic.
First up is Kari Poli candy sticks from Japan. I previously have talked about their candies but they were pineapple and apple flavored. The interesting thing about these treats is that they have a subtle fizzy center which didn't make sense in the previous flavors but here with 'cola' and 'ramune' flavor it sure does.

The ramune or soda flavor is not really the best. It tastes like bland bubblegum. The cola however is awesome. If you like Haribo Fizzy Cola Gummy then you'd like this snack. Sadly I think you can only find it in Japan. The box contains 12 stix wrapped n packs of two and costs around 2 dollars. I give it 4 Tooter Shellby-the green snork who comunicated by tooting-out of 5.
Speaking of things from the past, what do we have here? How old is this? The last time I saw ICEE was in the early 1980s at a Kmart when I was back to school shopping. (Needed those ESPRIT clothes) Until I received this from America and Diana as part of my bday present I thought ICEE was gone. Now I have looked online and much to my surprise they are in Burger Kings and some markets. Huh?

Maybe you knew that ICEE was still around but did they ever have carbonation? Why would they add popping candy to this treat? Why isn't this cold? Basically it is just a sucker and pop rocks. The polar bear kinda bums me out too. I mean look at what global warming has done to his ice burg. Well, he is wearing a droopy t....and jeans. (This is making my brain hurt.)
So you take the lolly and lick it and dip it into the pop rocks and then put it in your mouth. Too clinical a description? Well that sounds better than it tastes trust me. I have tried apple and lemonade. Both suckers taste like bland flavorless hard candy. And the pop rocks are worse than no brand pop rocks. Ugh. What a wasted opportunity. I bet the Slurpee version would be awesome. (Does anyone else think it is weird that a drink has the word pee in it?) I give this snack a 1-why did the punky brewster cartoon have a magic gopher named glomer?-out of five.
Sarah found this treat for me. Teaberry sounds exotic right? Well this product is made by Clarks and has been around since 1900. Yeah, this business is old school. This isn't your parents gum or even your grandparents gum. This is your great grand pappys gum and it has the flavor to prove it. It tastes like a really mild wintergreen. Like pepto bismol but in gum form. Not really a pleasurable experience but not bad either. Much like I'd imagine life was back then. I mean shoot they didn't even have t.v.s to not watch saturday morning cartoons on. Ugh. I give this gum a 3-Duke Igthorn hates gummy bears-out of 5.
Lastly I know I said these weren't drinks we were discussing but this one kinda is a drink. A friend of A&D gave this to me. It is some kind of drink mix that comes in four flavors. All of which have curious names like Himbeer, Zitron, Waldmeister, and Orange. Wait. Orange? How'd we go from Waldmeister to orange? So am I to believe that where ever this came from is a land where they speak a different language except for the word orange. That is so weird.
I told you! I am always saying 'Mach was prickelndes!" Ok so it is kinda hard to review this one because I couldn't tell what the directions were telling me so I just dumped it into a glass of water. I made the green one, Waldmeister. It fizzed for about two minutes and it tasted like a melted slushy. Apple I think. I expected lime but luckily it was apple. I couldn't drink it all. I had three drinks of it and was not thrilled about having any more. I give this "beverage" a 1-

Life is like a hurricane
Here in Duckburg
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes
It's a duck-blur
Might solve a mystery
Or rewrite history

CHORUS:
DuckTales (oooh ooooh)
Every day they're out there making
DuckTales (oooh ooooh)
Tales of daring do bad and good
LuckTales (oooh ooooh)

When it seems they're heading for the
Final curtain
Cool deduction never fails
That's for certain
The worst of messes
Become successes

CHORUS

D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you
There's a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab on to some DuckTales

CHORUS

D-D-D-Danger! Watch behind you
There's a stranger out to find you
What to do? Just grab on to some ...

CHORUS (Twice)

Not pony tales or cotton tales, no
DuckTales (ooh ooooh) -out of 5.

Lastly I just wanted to thank you for taking time to read my messy blog. Sarah showed me how to see how many times people have read these meanderings and I was surprised. So thank you and I hope you enjoy. Although some of you found the blog by doing some strange searches. Look at the last one.
Hmmm.



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