Monday, November 14, 2011

.FOOrD BLOrG. Ordinary Coffee Blog Post.

"Harry, I am going to let you in on a little secret. Everyday, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a cat nap in your office chair or two cups of hot black coffee. Like this."- Dale Cooper

Truer words have rarely been spoken. Not only am I a huge fan of treating ones self but I am an immense fan of coffee. In fact, our home has not one but many ways of creating coffee. Ranging from the espresso machine, cold extract, or the french press. To the old fashioned coffee pot or percolator. While I may like to make coffee in many ways I take it only one way.
"I like my coffee black just like my metal."-J. Urine

This is my most expensive post ever!!!!!! (In theory)

Technically speaking the second half was a gift but we will get to that.

First we need to discuss this-

Incase you didn't know, David Lynch has a coffee that you can buy online. Luckily I have an awesome wife, who with the help of some wine, bought this coffee even though the shipping was more than the coffee. I don't care about that. Treat yourself, right?

This could be tricky, I mean what if it isn't even coffee. What if you get it and a one eyed dove hobbles out of the box and bums a cigarette from you. You couldn't really return it because in some transcendental way that "is" David Lynch coffee. We don't know. I mean the dude paints with rotting meat. (By the way, he just released a full album and it is really a doozy. Check it out!) My point is that between Sarah and I we have many of his various ventures and the collection wouldn't be complete with out the cup of joe. We have had many late night conversations with friends about his films and symbolism and what not. So one would expect that his coffee would be a bit different. And that one would be right.

How does it taste?

"I've had I don't know how many cups of coffee in my life, but this is one of the best." -Dale Cooper

That is a quote about another coffee. This coffee was not the best. Nor did it taste like there was a fish in the percolator. Oddly enough, get this, it tasted like an espresso roast IF it was diner coffee. Right??? What??? So close your eyes a moment and think back to how true diner coffee tastes. Ponder it. Now transcend that with a touch of dark espresso lurking in the back of your mouth like Bob was lurking behind the bed. Seriously, that is what it tastes like. If you want, come on over and we will brew some and watch Mulholland Drive. Then we can discuss the significance of lamps and how to catch ideas like fish.

I give this beverage a 3.5 "I do not introduce the log." -Log Lady- out of 5.
What is that you say? Well let me start at the beginning: I grew up in a small town. I never had a billion friends. I wasn't the popular kid. I was (and am) a small little guy who liked candy, toys, and movies. I met my life friend Aaron at a very early age. We had similar interests and height and soon were best of pals. For a few years it was just us against the far larger world. We scurried about talking of ninjas and monsters until we met Devin, Ryan, and Clovis. We became the crew. You know how in Stand By Me, how the whole thing is this flash back to his pals when they were little? When I do that, those are this kids I see. So now we are all grown up and doing our own things. But from time to time we reconnect and that is always great. Now I didn't see Clovis. But Aaron did. He went on a fishing trip and Clovis is a guide down in Eugene. Well Aaron mentioned that I have this little food blorg and soon I received this mysterious package.
Within it was this-
Oh coffee. That is cool. I wonder why there is a cat monkey on the bag.... Oh what!!!! Yep. My childhood pal Clovis mailed us Kopi Lewak. Which is the most expensive coffee on the planet!!!!
Yeah! Another interesting thing about this coffee is that a tree dwelling cat-like creature (like me) in Southeast Asia eats the ripest red coffee beans and then poops out the seeds which are then collected and processed and sold as Kopi Lewak. Yup.

(Don't look up pictures of palm civits. They are not cute.)
So the beans just look like plain old coffee beans and once ground it just smelled like plain old coffee.
Now to the taste. Well. Luckily, for my wallet, I wouldn't say it is incredible. We both (S and I) took a sip and sat puzzled for a bit. The funny thing about this point is that what were we doing was most likely taking all that we knew about the process and the oddness and incorporate that into what we were tasting. It was earthy smelling and earthy tasting but the taste was missing something. Was that because it was tree cat poop coffee? No, that isn't it. What had me perplexed was that it was a light roast. (who does a light roast on cat poop coffee? I know.) We both usually drink dark roasts. With that in mind we sipped again. It was pleasant, light, and earthy. You should most likely take my word for it because Sarah said that there are restaurants that sell it for 50 dollars a cup. Yeah, I started my Saturday off with 100 dollars worth of coffee. Did you? Well, go back and read that quote at the top of this post because you know what? You deserve it. Yes my friend, you deserve to drink a beverage brewed in a cats intestine. Pat your self on the back. I give this treat experience a 4- "styrofoam never dies as long as you live"- Andy-out of 5.

*Lastly a final thanks to my wonderful wife and my dear friends. Thank you for being part of my life and weird interests. You make my life far more richer and sometimes stranger in all of the bestest of ways.

Now if you will excuse me, Leo needs a new pair of shoes.....

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