.FOOrD BLOrG. Bevies for a Barfly.

A friend of mine was recently telling me that he has an immense fear of metamorphosis. Yeah, you read that right. Like human into werewolf or Wilford Brimley into The Thing or caterpillar into butterfly. (Maybe not the last one so much.) In particular, the scene in 'An American Werewolf in London' really messed him up. The idea of bones stretching and bodies rearranging their order terrifies him. When he told me of this I was stunned. I had never thought of those types of transformations as scary in a real sense. Perhaps the idea of all the changes happening fast is where part of his fear lies. I am not sure. What I do know is that I also share this fear. Only the metamorphosis that I fear is a long drawn out process simply referred to as 'growing up'.

Don't worry, I am not freaked out or anything because there is a very good chance that at my age now I would have grown up some. I think it is safe to say that a candy loving, cartoon drawing, funny face making, silly dancing, strange voice talking, toy playing individual such as myself, might be impervious to such afflictions of the mind. Only time will tell. My words to you, dear friends, is fight it! Fight back with all your might! Build a fort in your living room. Fill out some Mad Libs. Wear your halloween costume anytime you want. Tell someone every single detail of something that they don't care about. (Pokemon) Tell anyone to watch you do something. (Jump off a chair or click your heels together or both) Ask your co-worker "how tall is your dad?"...then reply "Mine is taller." Eat too much candy. (Yeah, like that is possible.) You can do it! Remember your youth and pay it the respect it deserves. There are too many adults stressed out in the world already. But hey, since you are an adult, there is one popular way to relieve those stresses. Hiking. Oh, wait I meant drinking.

So first we have a chocolate pumpkin stout with cocoa nibs, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. This beverage came from The Belmont Station in PDX. There were a few different pumpkin beers to choose from and this one was the most expensive. At least that is how I remember it. It cost around 9.50 or so. I thought that it seemed like a special bevvy worthy of a post and I waited for the next time Dave came over. It is fall and they did take the time to metamorphosize a pumpkin into a beer. Luckily my wife (Sarah) was having a birthday gathering that weekend so I knew Dave (and any of our friends who are really awesome) would be coming over soon.

This son of a gun was dark and powerful. A little goes a long way for someone like myself. I mean, I will usually have one full flavor beer and then transition into lighter beer. (metamorphosis of beverage intake) So about four or six ounces of this was all I needed. Flavor wise it was full and deep with some spice notes but nothing like the label says. (Again, it could be my ignorant tongue. It is just so very stupid.) Dave also said that he didn't taste some of the spices. Maybe that is the point. A smooth blend without stand out prominence of spice. But I kind of doubt it. My guess is that the brew out weights the bouquet. . . brewquet. (see what I did there?) I would say, if you are interested in any aspect of this label or just dark beer then you should try it. Just find a buddy or two and make a memory. I give this beverage a 3-draw a picture of your house and who lives there in crayons-out of 5.

Up next we have cyder. But not any cider. This one is an Asian Pear cyder. (Huh, those three short sentences were meant to be epic. I don't think that worked out for me. I should probably erase them or at least stop narrating to you about them.) We were recently over at Sarah and Dave's elders home and Emm had this hard cyder which he busted out for us to try. I like his style. Always have.  Share your treats peeps. Share your treats. (Unless your treat is a Peep. Those things are grotesque. Grotesque is an adult way of saying 'I'd rather eat poo farts.)

Where was I? Oh yes, so Emm opened his cyder and we all had a taste. Frankly, it tasted like apple cyder. Sarah thought so and I agree. We didn't taste much pear at all. However, Dave and Emm totally did. Which is something I often find. What one person enjoys, another detests. It is like a natural balance in the world. I mean if everyone liked Sweetarts then the world would run out and I would have to be quite perturbed. (Perturbed is adult speak for throwing yourself onto the ground and flailing your limbs and screaming words that nobody can make out until you accidentally hit your heel on something and then you are really crying and can only feel foolish because you secretly knew this whole tantrum wasn't going to result in you getting what you want in the first place.) 

Was this a bad cyder? Nope. Yet, it wasn't mind blowing either. I don't drink a ton of cyders. In fact I had a cyder a week ago and it was the first one I have had in a decade or so. I will say this though, the one I had a week ago was syrupy and coated my mouth with not greatness. This did not. It was light and fruity and not overly sweet. I give this beverage a 3.5- jump on your bed and sing into a hair brush-out of  5. 

Holy smokes. (Where did that saying come from? Did jesus have his own tobacco line at some time?) Well, we have come full circle with this whole metamorphosis post. We end with a beer called "MORPHO'  which is brewed with yerba mate, hibiscus flowers and bay leaves. I came across this beer when Sarah and I were on that same trip to Belmont Station. Pretty much anytime I see a beer brewed with herbs I have to get it. So I did and then, once again, when Dave and our good pal Caleb were over I opened it up and we gave it a taste.

Weird. Is a simple way to wrap it up. The beer is a light amber color and smooth at first. Then the mate and herbs come to the party. The herbs are the last to leave the party which isn't terrible but it is thought provoking. I found myself contemplating each drink. Just sitting and thinking about what was happening on my taste buds. That is when Caleb dropped some "real" on me. He said "Oh man, this would be great with lemonade." I had never even thought of it as an ingredient but he was totally right. Buy this beer and share it with friends. It is well made and quite interesting. (I couldn't drink more than a glass.) Then mix it in a glass 70% Morpho and 30% lemonade (I like my lemonade like I like to dress- as fresh as possible). The result is a refreshing, herbaceous, tart beverage. Yum. Who doesn't love lemon and herbs right? (A kid would tell you that 'buttfaces don't.')....(and he'd be right.) I give this meta-MORPHO-sis a 4-get up on a chair and tell everyone around you that the floor is lava-out of 5.

It looks more red because of the red bottom on the glass. Oops.